I am in one of those places in your life that you might call a "transition period" if you were looking to use unnecessarily long words. Just finished university, not sure what comes next. Three months of eccentricity to bridge the gap, but I'm probably transitioning in to a time of jobs searches and money woes.
I pray God has more of a clue than I do right now. Speaking to good friends I felt really comforted by the reassurance the the big guy knows best. I was advised to be calm and keep praying and the thing to do will smack me in the face. A lovely thought, but I know I still need to do the thinking and put the effort in. And that practically, unless it smacks me in the face pretty soon, I'll have to find myself something, be it the right thing or not, to bring in enough money to pay the rent and be able to eat until it does.
One of the things that I had been thinking about was working in the Fire and Rescue Service. I checked it out locally, and there are no full-time vacancies in my area, but there were vacancies for part-time, on-call firefighters. You needed to (1) pass the physical requirements and (2) to be able to get to your station in 5-7 minutes from having been paged. (1) would probably rule me out right now - I'm probably not fit enough - but that's something that can be worked on and changed. (2) would be a bigger problem right now. When I was seriously thinking about this a while back I didn't have a driving license and lived a good ten minute cycle from one station and fifteen from another, with a somewhat unreliable bicycle. I have since passed my driving test, so I'm ever so slightly less incompatible, but I'm a long way from being able to afford a car. I'd love one, but right now I have no need or means to gain or run one, and it would make me very lazy and unfit. Probably. It would also make me much less stressed and much more useful. Today I checked out car insurance quotes by way of procrastination. The simple story is that I would pay the same in insurance as I would for a second hand car, and another whollop in road tax, etc. Not happening then. In a year's time I'm likely to be moving house again. Without tying myself, I'd like to see myself staying in the same city, and who knows, I might find myself close enough to a fire station.
Back to the burning buildings. So yeah firefighting then. Last night I was sitting talking to a bloke who's staying here and (you guessed it) happens to be a fireman. We got deep. The wine probably helped. It's about being tough and sensitive and clever, and I aspire to be those things. I got to thinking about how I would deal with the tough stuff; people die in fires. That would test a faith for sure. Each time I come back to the same thing. I'm young and I have energy - with training I could probably manage the fitness and the strength needed. I think I'd enjoy the schools work, and I think it would be incredibly satisfying when it goes right. I've learned I like to feel useful. When it goes wrong, it would be terrible. I'm scared of the dark as it is, and probably rather naive about the big things in life. It was really good to talk to someone who does all that though. He talked about all the training they get and such like, seems to really enjoy his job.
Then there's the danger to me. Right now I'm comfy and safe and being theoretical, so I can brush it off - I'm ok with danger - like I'm trying to be cool and fearless. I suppose it becomes a more practical case of balanced risks. Pretty sure my Mum and Dad would worry though, others too. Is that fair? My Dad worries enough when I do volunteer work on the streets at night and I'm safer there than I am in my own flat.
Well that's this afternoon's thinking. That and planning fictional murders. Time to get back to the real world and wander off for some free food. Barbecue time out here! I think tonight I shall think slightly differently when being my usual barbecue pyromaniac self.
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