Monday 23 January 2012

Waiting

I interviewed for a possible new job on Wednesday of last week. They promised they'd let me know either way by today. Fingers crossed the outcome is positive if this is going to be a good thing for me.

Saturday 21 January 2012

Procrastination

Why hello. Welcome back.

Today I get a few free afternoon hours, and it's Saturday so I don't feel guilty about not doing anything job-hunt or festival-organisation based. I probably ought to feel guilty about not doing anything about cleaning the flat, but there's time for that yet.

I spent this morning and lunchtime with friends putting together the first timetable for the festival. It took 4 hours for three grown-ups to put a bunch of different things in to boxes and type it up. Did not see that coming, but it is at least now done. Draft 1 now exists. God only knows (and I hope he does know) how many changes we'll have in the next 6 weeks. SIX WEEKS! Eek! So that was this morning.

Home to an empty flat. Made a yummy fry up and sat down to watch Masterchef and smugly eat my infinitely superior food. This is where I realised - I can't chill out any more. My crazy little mind kept wandering. I soon had 4 different tabs open. Facebook - once you've caught up there's not much happening. Checked three different email accounts despite having chosen not to look at them right now. Not much I didn't know about anyway. XKCD inly updates 3 times a week and we lost one of those this week to a SOPA protest. I've lost the knack of aimlessly wandering the internets. What do I do now? How do I procrastinate? Maybe I'll just have a nap and draw some more stick men.

Tonight I'm off to a Burn's Supper with a bunch of dancing friends. It'll be ace. Music and dancing and haggis and speeches, toasts and responses. All with the people I love. The one thing that's getting me a little down is that I'll be dateless tonight again. Ok, I've never been to this event with someone who is "mine" but tonight all but one of "our lot" that I can think of will be paired off. Heck, this was the event two years ago when one friend told us he was getting married. Ooh, make that two others. Maybe I'm not so sad after all. The point remains, I'm sure these things are nicer if you have a Someone sitting next to you, and one day I'd quite like to try that.

Thursday 19 January 2012

Going crazy

I nearly went crazy this weekend. No, seriously, I came really quite close to losing it. I think the reason I didn't completely crash was that I know that if I do there'll be all the pieces to pick up afterwards, and that just sounds like hard work.

I've got a lot on, that much is true, and a fair few things on my mind at any one time. I'm not an idiot - normally I can deal with that. It is also true however that I am only one person, and a fairly young inexperienced one at that. This is the first time in my life, for instance, that I've been financially independent, and also the first time that I've not had the Next Thing lined up. School to college, college to uni, graduate. Then what? This is a fairly inconvenient time to not know what it is that I wish to do with the rest of my time on this planet, but that's another post for another day. Today is about the things that are stressing me out.

I'm chairing a committee which is running a fairly large event in 6 week's time. That is the source of most of my grey hairs right now. I'm looking for work whilst still working a random handful of hours at my two current jobs. At the same time I'm trying to pay rent and my share of the petrol and eat and not completely go under. Oh, and I'm still camping in my own bedroom, which is a mess, as is the rest of the flat and we were due an Estate Agent inspection this week. Postponed to next week.

A lot of the time I live on a thin balancing line between being active and busy and doing exciting fast-moving things and doing too much and falling apart. This week I teetered on the edge. It was mostly purple with a little navy blue thrown in. There was a little bit of crying (and I'm one for manning it out) and a couple of disturbed nights, and a day when I went to work and was a bit down and quiet and useless. I made it through three hours and fifty-five minutes of a four hour shift and then lost my vision and fell over backwards. A colleague conveniently caught me and promptly sent me home to avoid the chance of paperwork. I made it to a dance class that evening but when it seemed like it was going to go on for a whole ten minutes longer than expected I quickly said my goodbyes and vanished. Normal things took effort beyond what they ought to, and then I found myself lacking in any stamina whatsoever (not normally my strong point but this week I was rubbish). I couldn't wake up and food didn't look appealing and I just felt crappy. I pretty much wasted two and a bit days feeling crappy and got very little of use done doing so.

Yesterday I think I pulled myself (only just) back on to the edge of the precipice. I had to. One meeting at 9am, job interview at 11am, and a planned day of event-running catch-up stuff before a 7pm meeting about that. At 8am work phones wanting me in. So in the end I had a meeting, straight to an interview, bought a sandwich and went to work looking particularly overdressed. I found an old uniform that sort of fitted and got on with the job in hand (price stickers, and lots on them) and it helped. It helped slowly but I was there all day and there was nothing else going on. Thank God for colleagues who have nothing better to talk about. Being at work I had no access to phone or internet or planning notes, and I had a shop to see to and customers to look after. It was the least stressful part of my week so far - being at work. Mental really but that's how it was.

Now what? - dive back in and hope the monster spits me out alive. Keeping a close eye on the relative sizes of my pupils all the while. Wish me luck. I'll hear back about the possible new job before Monday's out, and I might even get to the bottom of a few more organisational issues before then too. Oh, and I'll draw some pictures. My life is never dull, I just wish I had the time to tell you about it.

Friday 6 January 2012

What to do when two men you don't know show up and take away your bed?

Relax. The two men I didn't know were accompanied by a girl I did know, who is the true an rightful owner of the bed. I've had it on long-term loan for two and a half years but the time has now come to give it back.

Presently, I have no bed.
Tonight, I'll be okay. Of my two flatmates the one who's most likely to stay awake till all hours on the sofa is out for the night. I can claim the sofa. Tomorrow I shall begin to camp in my own bedroom. I'm even considering pitching the tent for safety. Whatever happens to the monsters under the bed when you lift up the bed and take it away?

So the bed search begins. Found the most awesome thing on gumtree last night - a single bed atop a double futon with a little desk. I could have my own sofa! Too late was the cry. Sold and delivered. I have put the word out on facebook and tomorrow we hit the charity shops. Wish me luck.

What's where?

Why hello dear blog, yes it's been a while. Up to much?

Time to give my 3 readers (feeling optimistic tonight) a wee snapshot of where I'm at today, this very evening.
I started the blog to tell you all about my adventures in a caravan surrounded by ducks and pine trees. I'm now sitting looking at a very dehydrated Norway Spruce Christmas tree with a rubber duck for an angel. Today is the 6th, and my late Granny will come back and belt me one if it's still up at the end of the day. 12 days of Christmas and all that. Getting it down is likely to involve hoovering the needles straight off the branches and cutting out at least some of the carpet hoovering. Maybe we should take video it?

I started a blog, yes. Then I spent three months doing what I proposed to be blogging about and even very occasionally blogging about it. It was a good summer. Cold, but good. I'd do it again, but maybe on slightly different terms. I finished up an elbow to fingertips, knees to ankles, neck upwards tan, a very shaggy haircut and a little bit fitter and stronger than I started out. And returned to Real Life.

I have since spent a week and a half on Jobseeker's allowance before finding two part-time jobs. Job number 1 started at about 14 hours a week, and turned into 34 before November was up, becoming 40 hours a week through December. Job number 2 has ticked along since the end of October at 6 hours a week, becoming an interesting juggle in December. So I've been working, and juggling, and trying not to think about it too much. There will be a nice paycheque coming my way at the end of the month if the company survives that long (the companies behind the shops either side of us in the shopping centre that is Job number 1 both announced last week that they had gone in to administration).

Christmas happened. I drove the best part of 500 miles in a week and drank a lot of port (although not at the same time, I might add). It was Christmassy and nobody cried so was therefore declared to be a success. But now it's not Christmas any more. As from tomorrow it will definitely not be Christmas any more; my Norway Spruce will have been chopped up for kindling. And me, well I will get to start to notice the lack of forest smell from my living room as I'll be here a bit more. Job number 1 have offered me a permanent contract, but as it's not December any more the new contract will be for 6 or 8 hours a week. 6 or 8 plus 6 when multiplied by four does not come to a total large enough to accommodate the rent and council tax.

This means, dear bloggosphere, that I'm on the move again. Semi-un-employment has begun. Time for a plan, kid. Here goes.

Money coming in is still money coming in. Being paid in arrears means there'll still be some coming in at the end of the month, nice. Job number 1 comes with a 1 week notice period. Job number 2 is flexible and mine for as long as I want it and don't screw up too badly. If job number two stays fixed I need around 17 hours at job number 1 to make it on a week by week basis. Having been doing more than that of late I have a tiny little cushion.

Start to job search is the next part of the plan. The CV has been updated and 5 precious printed copies delivered thanks to flatmate with printing access. 1 is to be handed in tomorrow.

I'll keep you posted, and I may even have the time to muse and blog.

Coming up next. What to do when two men you don't know show up and take away your bed?