Driving Home For Christmas

Like right now. 

I am currently sitting in my car in the car park of a Garden Centre chain somewhere near the Edinburgh bypass. This serves the triple functions of being a) somewhere I can pee, b) somewhere I can eat, and c) an almost exact half-way point on my journey.

I am writing this on the laptop, why only manages about 10 minutes of battery life, using the hot-spot function on my phone, which only has a limited battery life, in a car that doesn't have a cigarette-lighter-charge-point thing. I will come along and proof-read later. Save me the time and go ahead and point out the typos.

So I'm headed homewards. I will be spending the next little while at my old childhood abode, which as ever is likely to be a bit odd. I'm sure any of you who have left home, and then been away for quite a while during which you have not starved, feel a little out of place when you go back. I'm not the same shape as the hole i left. I have also in the meantime become rather allergic to my mother's feline replacement children*.

So this is my chance to wish you and yours all the best, but I will be a little more specific than that.

• I wish everyone will appreciate the effort you've gone to in finding nice things for them
• I wish you all at least some time where everyone gets on
• I wish that moment where the whole family is watching telly and then there's a bedroom scene doesn't happen to any of you. 
• I wish you good battery life on all if your means of external communication
• I wish you safe driving and good health and all that
• I wish that at least once, someone else will make you a cup of tea, and get it Just Right The Way You Like It. 
• I wish that you get to go for walks and get outside and not feel full and fat and horrible
• I wish that you get your fair share of remote control custody. 

So I will have much time to be writing things for you to read, although ironically nothing will happen for me to write about. I will read, heck I'll read anything. I'll crotchet. If things get really bad i might even take up cross-stitch again.

I will be drawing stick-men, so there's still time for requests.

Me, we'll I've covered 125 of my 250 miles, and should get going before my Mother wants another location update. Perhaps I should volunteer to be tagged so she can follow my every movement and stop asking so often?

I'll get back to all of the things that I like about long journeys. Getting through whole albums, car snacks, allowing my mind to wander off in to all those abstract corners it never gets a chance to go to.

Happy Christmas!

My gift to you can be this song, which is accompanying my drive today.

*Who she probably preferred all along.