Directions. And very small knitted things.

Listen up you ugly lot! This one's for you. I want your brains (in the least zombie-like fashion).

To get things moving, here's a picture of a very tiny green teddy bear with a purple moustache. Thought you might like it.

I had to pay that hand model so much for this. 

Did you like it? Go on, you know you did. Don't see one of them every day now, do you? No. I am indeed good to you.

Which is what I want to blog about today. I am not cool, or hip, or trendy or any of these things which one might secretly aspire to be (although never publicly acknowledge for in doing so would topple the façade of coolness). Following the same bizarre logic, a lack of desire to be cool, may indirectly make me so but I seriously doubt it. Enough of this teenage nonsense anyway. I pay my own (share of the) council tax and once bought salad dressing. I am well on the way to becoming that terrible thing of which I don't often like to speak - an adult. Thankfully it has not happened yet. Either because I keep moving the bar or because I am still an idiot kid.

Not long ago, a driving license and car ownership were criteria for entry to the adult hood, but now I skirt dangerously close to these things, they are no longer suitable milestones. Maybe I'll go for getting married, or having babies as sensible adulthood detection devices? Those things seem suitable woolly and distant. Yes, safety, that'll do.

I wandered again. I was meant to be telling you about my lack of cool and desire to remain so. I do however (you may have noticed this) have a blog. Once upon a time this may have been trespassing on the boundaries of cool, but everyone and their Mum is blogging now (the verb "to blog" still strikes a small amount of fear in me, but I've never fathomed why) so I'll probably get away with it.
I started the blog to recount my culture shock of a summer in a caravan and all the country things I got up to. I'll confess life, exhaustion, laziness and a poor internet connection conspired against me and I delivered rather weakly on this one.

Then I came home and got all jobless on you. Temporarily (thank God) so. I got busy - I blogged less. I ran a festival - I blogged not at all. Now I am busy but ever so slightly less so. I seem to be giving you fairly sporadic updates on whatever happens to come out of my fingertips when I sit down to type.

What are you getting at, Kid? Ok, so the deal is this. I will blog at random, offloading whatever happens to have been onloaded on to my poor underworked brain on any one day... unless ... you suggest otherwise.

Ideas on a post card! (or, you know, comment on the blog post like a normal person). Or talk to me.
And tell your friends. Tell them to read me. Read me, read me please!

Here's another tiny teddy. Enjoy.

So flippin' teeny!

Scroll down for spoilers.


And then some.



Ok. I give in.


Today it is snowing. In precisely one week I will be back in my precious summer caravan (well, one of them) - and I'll be sleeping there!