My Totally Arbitrary Run-Up To You-Know-What Rules

This post is sponsored by cookies, office tea and the amazing chocolate brownies this place makes.

I am currently finishing off the one I started yesterday. Not sure what that tells you about them.

So this weekend (yes, there was a week in there too, but I went to work and it was stressful and worky and really not the thing to tell you all about, so let's jump to the wochenende, svp) I did many, many things. I danced 4 days out of 5 in as many different pairs of ill-fitting dancing shoes, and have somewhat crippled myself.

I wore the dress.

And I didn't even fall over it once!

Even more adventurous, as far as I'm concerned, was the need to wear a stick-on bra underneath it. Living on the edge, me. But all was well, and I apologise for the over-share.

I had two lovely consecutive evenings of dancing and it was lovely. I did a lovely little girl's first ever dance with her. I just wish the country was closer together and I didn't have to go back to the day job on Mondays. I stayed up too late putting the world to rights. I went out for a huge lunch immediately followed by a wine-tasting. I went home and crashed out and slept for the rest of the day. It was a good weekend.

We went to a garden centre in search of doughnuts and found only minions instead.

They were doing a fairly hilarious photoshoot with a cheeseplant.

I've been keeping myself busy enough to not really have taken any of it in, but it appears that in some corners of the world, "Christmas" has begun. This is both silly and inevitable. Today we had a conversation in the office about how the boss is away and would it be nice to have decorations up for them coming back, but oh-no that would mean putting them up in November. The moral dilemma!

Which got me thinking about what the rules would be if I was the one writing them. Which I'm not, except this is my blog, so I am.

These are my Christmas Rules.

They're not in order. They're possibly even quite contradictory. That's me for you.

• If it's November, it's probably not Christmastime. 

November is many other other things. You could, for instance, join the many people who use the month to write a novel, or grow a moustache. I've tried both, with only moderate success at either. In an imaginary world where I make the rules, I'd say keep it under wraps till at least December.

• Phase it in

Let it creep up on you bit by bit, or we'll never make it to January. The Advent candle and the Advent snowman with all the pockets are allowed out. The Tiny Wise Men start journeying around the house (we have to get a compass out every damn time to remind ourselves which way is east). The tree's not allowed up till SUSCDF* has happened, at the very earliest. 

• And even then, if you're going to try and get a head-start, please be subtle about it.

I can totally see the benefit of starting early, spreading everything out and not having to panic or go over-budget. Heck, I have even tried it some years. But this year I haven't, and it makes me feel a bit crap and behind when I find out that someone else has practically got the turkey in the oven already.

• It's probably okay to call it Christmas.

Even people who ain't so fussed about the Baby Jesus probably enjoy the holiday and the Strictly Come Dancing special.

• We each only have so much capacity for "Christmas-ing"

This is my logic on the matter. If you start trying to feel Christmassy too early, you'll be fed up of the whole sha-bang before the schools break up. I have this notion that if I try not to think about it for a good chunk of December, then by the time the real thing comes round I'll perhaps be in the mood.

• It's okay to admit it all gets a bit too much sometimes

Christmas is stupid. It makes people into absolute desperate idiots. 

• Embrace the Christmas Jumper

With one caveat. One each will probably suffice. I like to think it's ok to inflict my Christmas jumper on people only once or twice. So it gets to come to work once, it goes to Church once, it goes to each dance class once. I get to show it off and be proud of my handiwork, and no-one gets too fed up of the hype.

Glass of wine not compulsory, but...

• In all things, pace yourself

We're celebrating many many things here. This is one complicated holy-pagan-traditional-commercialised-family-winter festival thing we've created for ourselves. All we really understand any more is that we have to eat and drink a lot, see a lot of people and try and be nice to each other. Eat slowly, drink slowly. Talk slowly and you'll take longer to run out of conversation. I have found, in latter years, that a good way to retain that warm fuzzy feeling and remain reasonable personable for an extended period of time is keep myself mildly intoxicated. YMMV. However, this year there will be children and driving. I'm going to need a new plan.

• And remember, everyone likes socks, Tesco is open on Christmas Eve, Tesco sells socks. 

Ergo, everything is going to be all right.


See ya!


*The Scottish Universities Scottish Country Dance Festival, which often involves a last minute dress-making panic and a good deal of organisation.