When I grow up.

Last summer I lived in a caravan for three months whilst lending both hands at one of the world's cutest small campsites and hostels, in Nethy Bridge in the Cairngorms.

It's so funky it's even in this book.

Gets three smiley faces as well. 

Little campsite, 4 small tents max, self-catering cottage sleeping about 5, 6-8 bed hostel, and (last summer's building project) a small, wooden and very cosy hut. The campers get a little bit of shelter, a chiminea campfire, use of a toilet at the back of the main house and an outdoor shower.

I really rather liked the idea. It's the starting blocks from which my imagination has somewhat ran away with itself.

A little OTT, but feel free to drool over the pretty bell tent.

I want one. Or something not quite the same but like it. 

I have a silly little dream that might just be, God willing, achievable. 

What I lack is money and know-how, but those things exist in this world, and I have time. What I also lack is a proper, structured, grown-up, convincing plan. I'm working on it, albeit slowly. For now, here are my silly ideas.

Think, discuss, comment (I like comments). Please don't be too mean, I'm only little. 

Ideas hereafter will be presented in through the medium of the academic's friend; the trusty* bullet point. 

• Christian Retreat Centre. Bring your alpha course, your small group, your leadership team, a small-medium sized bundle of your congregation. I'll pitch and set up enough comfy, stove-heated, classy looking tents (big cheer for bell tents, even bigger cheer for yurts) to keep you all dry at night. I'll make you breakfast in the morning and find you a big space to use for worship and group sessions. Heck, I'll even ship in someone to do the talk for you if it helps. I'll fix up some outdoorsy activities to tire you out in the afternoon and turn out a good-looking spread of food at teatime. Campfires, God songs, space to think, walks in the country, time for chillin' with the big guy. Good for the soul - woodsmoke and marshmallows. 

I have a very large woolly jumper that I try very hard to maintain a good log fire smell in. 

• Outward bound team-building. Same deal but with more mud and a bit less Jesus**.

• Campsite. Open space, little cute shower block, composting toilets, stuff for kids to fall off (sorry, play on) firepits, camper's shelter. Wildlife, open water, peace and tranquillity. Just need somewhere both scenic and accessible, funds to get a business off and running and a roof over my head. Water and leccy help too. Cute little pitches. Breakfast in the morning if you want it. 
• Further variation would be to offer a pre-pitched and ready-to-roll bell or ridge tent or similar. Apparently it's becoming a thing, and there are presumably worse bandwagons I could jump on.

• One of these. Well set-up, candlelit and comfy, rented out by the night for families and little groups. Water, leccy, toilets and showers need not be built in if nearby. 

please?

• Camping in ruins. Take the shell of an old croft cottage, make it stable, clean out the fireplace. Put up a big sturdy pole just outside either end and stretch a bit of canvas shelter over half or all of it. You now have somewhere dry and sheltered in which to pitch your tent. It's also atmospheric and a little bit bonkers.

Ahh...

Ideas are wonderful things, aren't they folks? Mental pictures of these keep me entertained through my tedious spreadsheet-facing working day. Hope they do a little to help with yours. 

Footnotes to avoid complete and utter derailing:

*Trusty? We named these useful black splodges after things you shoot out of a gun with the intention of putting a terminal hole in some poor bloke's head! This is surely the most violent form of not-quite-punctuation. If the comma had a more testosterone-fuelled, aggressive name would our schoolboys be more keen to use it? Why bullet? Yes, I get the small round dots, but that's as far as the analogy goes before it falls on its knees. 1) How small are these bullets please? 2) How long did it take to train the mouse with the tiny gun (for the tiny bullets) to shoot them at points on a page equally spaced and completely in line? ... and ... 3) After all that training, isn't there a much better use that highly-skilled mouse could be put to? Sure G4S would love it. 


**Jesus is, of course, free to come and go as he feels but plays a less pivotal role in the morning's entertainment.