I did it!

So I did it, and I have discovered some things, of which I will dutifully report back.

We didn't, it's ok. We are sorry and Squiggle has forgiven us.

In no particular order, here are some things I have discovered since this time last week:

• Horses are awesome, but also really stupid. 

How something so big can be scared of so many strange, tiny things escapes me. And sitting on top of one is really quite a long way from the ground, it turns out. But we spent a lovely morning, way up on the fells somewhere near Ullswater, just me, L, the pony-trekking Wifey and 3 horses. It was sunny and it was warm and I didn't fall off. Hold on tight and trust that this animal's herd instincts will make it follow the others. We did all right. Bit of a sore butt, which is not to be recommended the day before a trip to a big theme park, but we did good.

• Pod camping is a thing.

We stayed our first night in a "pod" at a camp site, which has a bar that was built in 1751! All of the chairs are made of whisky barrels and the tables have some seriously ancient pennies inlaid. And there are dead things hanging from the walls which I hope were shot a very long time ago. Everybody might not have a water buffalo*, but these guys do.

Some of these heads are not Queenie.

We stayed 2 nights, either side of Alton Towers, in a "timber tent" at a camp site in Staffordshire. This was definitely a shed. It smelled like a shed and it was chilly! I think in the height of summer it would be a lovely little spot, but in October, with absolutely no-one else around it was all a bit cabin-in-the-woods for my liking. The Dick Francis book I was reading at the time probably didn't help matters either, tbh.

Thank God for blankets.

For us, the main attraction to the whole camping-minus-tent thing was to just stretch the season a bit further in to Autumn, and that it did. The guys with the ace bar and the heater in the (carpeted, ventilated) pod win hands down though. If you're ever passing the Lakes, look these guys up.

• I am a wimp, and L is far too chilled about being dropped from a great height in to a whacking great hole. 

But I damn well did it anyway. My theme park buddies are seasoned veterans of numerous Alton Towers trips, and nothing phases them. They did a darn good job of looking after me, calmly walking me on to rides that turned out to scare the you-know-what out of me, letting me sit in the middle and only laughing at me a little bit. There was only really once when we had to let me have a little sit-down, but they followed that up by going and sticking me on a ride called Oblivion, which does this.

Went and put me in the front row and everything.

And I'm still here to tell the tale.

• Massive adrenaline rushes at 15-20 minute intervals all day make you incredibly tired, and very spaced out. 

I'm also not used to being really really scared, packed full of adrenaline but sat still and unable to do anything about it. In my real life, any time I'm genuinely nervous it's because I'm about to go on stage, or teach a dance class, or go to a job interview or something. Those times there's actually some use to put all the adrenaline to, but being strapped in to a seat where all I can do is scream and try not to puke is different.

• Roller-coasters make me sweary.

Sorry 'bout that everyone. It was somehow still good fun though. I have a new favourite ride. It's called Air and you get to pretend to be Superman. It's nice and smooth and doesn't drop you or go dark or go backwards when you don't expect it, and if I close my eyes at just the right time, I don't even need to swear at all. I went on it 5 times!

Not me in this picture, we were all to busy worrying about whether or not we'd done our shoelaces up tight enough.

• York is a really cool place. 

Thinking we'd treat ourselves to a bed, we wound up at a strange little hotel, which promised a swimming pool. Should have read the small print. What it didn't promise was a heated swimming pool.  There was even more swearing.

York has York Minster, which is breath-taking. If you do go, seriously do the "Undercroft", because it's nice to know just exactly what is holding our big historic buildings up.
York has a takeaway where you can get a roast dinner, and York has Trains. Lots of 'em.

Turntable! (L is in here too)

Lunch, on a station platform!

• York is a long way from Aberdeen. 

• Holidays are nice.

But being back home again ain't that bad. There were banjo-duelling hamsters in Church. Worth coming home for. This week I'm off to eat Hungarian food with enough friends that we're going to get the whole restaurant to ourselves. I might even write them a dance or two.




* Here, enjoy.